Alone in the house with two puppies

Today pearls of wisdom sampler:
* Flash, get out of the closet
* Flash, get off the sofa table
* Flash, get off the coffee table
* Flash, get off the dining room table
* Gunner, stop climbing on the window sills
* Gunner, get out of the shower
* Flash, stop walking on the back of the sofa
* Stop chewing on my wallet, the both of you
* If one more dog poops a 20-sided dice, someone is going to die in their sleep
* Stop licking the collie
* Leave Tracker alone before he farts and kills us all
* Flash, stop barking at the washing machine. I know its off-balanced and I'm going to fix it once you get out of the way
* Get off the sofa, I need a nap
* Get off me, I need a nap
* GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY, we have a YARD for that SORT OF THING!!!

And the cat just rolled over and fell off his perch. I'm blaming Ctthulu.