This week's Jehovah Witless visit

I have a slight bullying problem when it comes to missionaries, which is why I'm not allowed to answer the door when someone else is home. Especially those who insist on returning to my home on a regular basis after we've given them a polite shove off. This week's visit came on rabbit cage cleaning day, when I'm already in a bad mood. However, I am wearing my best monster foot slippers, big black furry clawed ones. Got that mental picture? Good, here we go.

M: Do you think government is doing a good job at taking care of our most vulnerable? Women, children, senior citizens, etc.?
T: Absolutely not. The political machine in this country is corrupt.
M: Great! I have a quote here *pause to flip through latter half of Christian bible* . . .
T: We're a Jewish home.
M: Huh?
T: Jewish home. See the Mezuzah (point to one on doorframe). We're Jewish.
H: Oh, typically I read Jesus' words at this point. So I'll read from Daniel. . . *insane flippage looking for correct chapter*
T: I know the quote you mean, don't worry about it. The Torah is considerably shorter, so its easier to study.
M: *Becoming desperate* So you raise rabbits? *looking at Bunhalla over front fence*
T: No, I rescue rabbits.
M: We raised rabbits when I was a kid, kept food on the table many a night.
T: *stern look* They aren't kosher you realize. *very offended look at his mixed cotton and wool suit*
M: Oh, well we'd like to give you our literature, a free gift from the Jehovah's Witness...
T: Do

not

say his name! You may not utter the name of G-d, its forbidden! *looks down at Watchtower magazines, throw them in the air and start wiping hands* You may not defame his name by writing it on documents!
M: *looks uncomfortable* Maybe we'll return later.
T: Thank you and God bless!