Things I've said to Flash this week

[trystinn]

Please stop licking the cat, he's going to scratch you if you keep that up. See, I told you so.
Its a toilet paper roll - what's the allure here?
Gravity attacks you fairly often, eh?
That's not normal. And that's

really

not normal.
Stop humping the ottoman. Now. No, it doesn't look like a St. Bernard. Its green, they aren't.
That's a whole new level of lazy - drinking water while standing inside the dog door.
Do you have a death wish? (When I found him chewing on Gracie's new flying disks)
Why are you in my kitchen?
Stop howling at the lovebird. He doesn't like it.
Stop howling at the neighbors. Yes, I know they like it. I don't.
Stop howling at the closet. Nothing is in there, see?
Stop howling!
No, you can't take a ride in the cement mixer.
No, you can't eat cement.
I bet Caesar Millan doesn't have days like this. No, he doesn't.
No, you can't keep Chris' wife. He'd like her back. Get off!
Stop licking the toilet, you're freaking me out. Especially when I'm on it. Or guests are.
No, I don't want a kiss!

*slump*

Comments

[goddessmusings.livejournal.com]

LOL! I should keep a little list of things I've said to Sammy this week. Who am I kidding, I should keep a list of things I've said to Sammy in one day. :-)

[mamaursula.livejournal.com]

I hope the kisses didn't come right after licking the toilet? Ewh?!

[wild-heart.livejournal.com]

Baroo?

[man-of-snows.livejournal.com]

LMFAO.

Here is a sample of my day...

Are you hurt? You seem to be falling over for no reason.
Oh that is sad, I made you get up after three hours of sleeping in the same poisition.
What? What are you crying for? Do you want something?
Sorry, you aren't allowed to sleep under the covers.
Get off of the backpack. It isn't a scratching post.
Get off my lap, I need to pee.
Get off my lap, I am on the toliet.
Yes, Yes, Yes, I will get you clean water.
Get off the counter, that is my dessert.
Get off the TV I am trying to watch it.
Get off of the pile of clean clothes.
Sorry. Time to get up. You haven't moved all day.

[tryst-inn.livejournal.com]

Most of those are yesterday but I added a few classics fro earlier in the week.

[tryst-inn.livejournal.com]

They just about always do come after something horrifying.

Thank the Gods I leave the lids down. *shudder*

[tryst-inn.livejournal.com]

Seems like our pets are cahooting!

[paigemom.livejournal.com]

ROFLMAO!!!! Oh, I can see the situation that prompted your comments so clearly!

Here are a few recent ones from my house (cat AND dogs):

Stop trying to rescue the dogs on TV.
No, you cannot make this a three-way orgy.
Stop barking at the Christians next door.
The floor is not going to hurt you; stop being scared of it.
No, I really don't want to share your drink of water.
Smells like you've been eating a lot of saurkraut lately.
You weigh 20 pounds. How can you push me out of bed?
Stop sucking on that stuffed animal.
Get your nose off the table.
I should have named you Pogo Stick.