Thoughts: RPG, kids, friendship group

[trystinn]

Gary is off at convention, so we've missed a week of questing. Typically, we've figured out a few ideas to make the game better, starting with the overly complicated Character Generator. We're in the process of knocking out an Quick Guide which we'll present to Gary while holding out our hands for our new miniatures.

We invited another couple to join us, thinking the more the merrier. These are foster parents of three active young boys and we figured they could use a night of adult interaction. Almost immediately, they began demanding all sorts of conditions: gaming had to be held at their home, change the night, etc. At this point, we quietly back away slowly and got out of dodge.

Gaming with a housefull of children is not gaming. We can't wage war on monsters while watching our language, yelling over Guitar Hero and hoping that their attention can be pulled away from their child long enough to roll. Having seen how these two run their household and the constant disruptions they consider normal from the kids, we couldn't compromise.

Every so often I start to think I'm really way too strict. Then, after a Chris and Sherry consultation, I realize that our friendship group is fairly disciplined. Kids have figured out when its appropriate to ask questions, that interruption is not permitted and that when you whine the answer is always no. Backing each other has provided a very strong united front and the kids have adapted gracefully. They are learning the subtleties of body language, conversation lulls, respect and compromise. Not too shabby for gaming geeklings.

Comments

[paigemom.livejournal.com]

foster kids, more than any, need the kind of discipline the rest of your group seems to have created. Too bad the foster parents couldn't recognize the potential benefits of association with your group on your terms.

[tryst-inn.livejournal.com]

As near as I can tell, most kids in this state are nearly feral. I cannot imagine being raised so haphazardly, with zero social skills and the thinnest skin imaginable.

At the moment, I've got Amanda (Laura's buddy, Chris' daughter) hanging out in the living room waiting for me to drive her home en route to the gym. She's been an absolute delight, very calm and will be in a few years an absolutely fabulous, balanced young lesbian. And I will have been grateful to be part of her life growing up.

Thank you. *Hugs*

[preachan-sidhe.livejournal.com]

One of the reasons we ended up leaving a particular circle we were working with, was the kid factor. Obviously we love kids, need a kid friendly environment. But while my kids aren't perfect, they have rules and boundaries and we enforce them. The other parents were sitting in circle while their tiny kids (toddlers!) were running around the building, escaping outside, etc. My husband and I had agreed to take turns watching OUR kids during circle, not everyone else's. :(

I think kids in gaming can work if they are well behaved kids and the other families maybe have kids too. Otherwise it would just be irritating.

[wild-heart.livejournal.com]

Maybe I'm old-fashioned . . . but how *dare* the newbies make demands? Excuse me?

It's not unreasonable to expect children to "be seen and not heard" at certain times. It teaches them self-discipline, a trait sorely lacking in most young people today.

[tryst-inn.livejournal.com]

We were prepared to make a few concessions, but the demands were outrageous. I'd previously had a run in with the gal who called me demanding I do tarot for her troubled pregnancy, then put me on hold for ten minutes while I stood there looking numbly at the Death and Tower cards. I hung up and next time I saw her, I sat her down and gave her Occult Manners 101.

Self Discipline would be such a treasure in this world. We're working hard to get Laura up to speed on that. So far, I think she's making adequate process for someone with her background. But then, as you know, I'm quite the critic so my standards are very high.

[wild-heart.livejournal.com]

Umm . . . WHAT?? Called you for a favor then put you on hold?

I just don't get people who expect others to endlessly do for them, without any clue as to why there has to be reciprocity.

Laura is blessed to have you in her life.