Birthday Shoes
Feb. 23rd, 2011 04:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
trystinnOne of the great ironies of my life is that at 5'7", I wear size 11 shoes (that's size 41 to those from the Commonwealth). Thankfully, though large, they are good looking and in considerably better shape than I have any right to given my years cocktail waitressing and bar-tending. Not to mention thousands of hours spent in front of conference rooms, small amphitheaters, etc. giving presentations and lectures. A foot fetishist would love my feet.
Understandably, big feet makes it hard to buy women's shoes. Especially since shoemakers tend to have a logic disconnect - if I wear size 11 shoes, chances are my toes are considerably longer than say a size 9. Yet the toe break is the same on both sizes. Which not only makes for some very disagreeably uncomfortable shoes (which in turn gives me foot cramps), but prematurely wears out the shoe as its bending at the weight bearing portion of the shoe where the designers and manufacturers never meant it to bend.
At one point, a very dear friend recommended I try shoe stores that cater to drag queens and transvestites. Given my friend was dressed in a poofy Ginger wing and red silk kimono at the time, I was appreciatively thankful for the advice. One does *not* disrespect a 6'4" drag queen in steel-reinforced stilettos and live to tell the tale. Unfortunately, my taste in shoes tends towards the modest, short and mundane. Which just aren't to be found in those shops.
Its typically the color factor that troubles me most. Dressing up a pair of size 11s in circus colors looks ridiculous on me. Fake flowers, cubic zirconium and other bits of flippery are similarly obnoxious. Then there's the monstrosity of the truly bright colors: hot pinks, neon blues, caution flag orange. Bright colors, as you may remember from art class, makes things look
I mention this because my birthday shoes from Zappos showed up today. Having worn both brands, I felt confident I knew exactly my size in each brand. However, the Dansko 41s are closer to American size 9 than American size 11 (I measured). Which means, dear friends, they'd look simply charming on Kevin. Unfortunately, they are too narrow and too short for poor, fuddy-duddy me. So they are going back and I've picked out a replacement already. And I have more credit from the return, so I need to pick another from my very bland color wheel.
Isn't this supposed to be fun? *crickets*
Understandably, big feet makes it hard to buy women's shoes. Especially since shoemakers tend to have a logic disconnect - if I wear size 11 shoes, chances are my toes are considerably longer than say a size 9. Yet the toe break is the same on both sizes. Which not only makes for some very disagreeably uncomfortable shoes (which in turn gives me foot cramps), but prematurely wears out the shoe as its bending at the weight bearing portion of the shoe where the designers and manufacturers never meant it to bend.
At one point, a very dear friend recommended I try shoe stores that cater to drag queens and transvestites. Given my friend was dressed in a poofy Ginger wing and red silk kimono at the time, I was appreciatively thankful for the advice. One does *not* disrespect a 6'4" drag queen in steel-reinforced stilettos and live to tell the tale. Unfortunately, my taste in shoes tends towards the modest, short and mundane. Which just aren't to be found in those shops.
Its typically the color factor that troubles me most. Dressing up a pair of size 11s in circus colors looks ridiculous on me. Fake flowers, cubic zirconium and other bits of flippery are similarly obnoxious. Then there's the monstrosity of the truly bright colors: hot pinks, neon blues, caution flag orange. Bright colors, as you may remember from art class, makes things look
LARGER
. Given these realities, most of my shoes fit into modest color ranges: gray
, black, dull dark red
and dark brown/cordovan
. There is little, if any, derivation among my shoe collection.I mention this because my birthday shoes from Zappos showed up today. Having worn both brands, I felt confident I knew exactly my size in each brand. However, the Dansko 41s are closer to American size 9 than American size 11 (I measured). Which means, dear friends, they'd look simply charming on Kevin. Unfortunately, they are too narrow and too short for poor, fuddy-duddy me. So they are going back and I've picked out a replacement already. And I have more credit from the return, so I need to pick another from my very bland color wheel.
Isn't this supposed to be fun? *crickets*
