trystinn | Geek humor

As I'm shopping for a Secret Santa (now, what would pagans call this, I wonder?) gift for someone who is really into computers, I'm finding all these gag gifts and quotes that are hysterical. Some, obviously, are fairly common and we've heard before, but given here on the off chance you haven't.

"* Hard Work Often Pays Off After Time, but Laziness Always Pays Off Now.
* If A Pretty Poster And A Cute Saying Are All It Takes To Motivate You, You Probably Have A Very Easy Job. The Kind Robots Will Be Doing Soon.
* There's no place like 127.0.0.1
* Go away or I will replace you with a very small shell script.
* 10 PRINT "Home"
20 PRINT "Sweet"
30 GOTO 10
* Must be an ID 10-T error
* Do not meddle in the affairs of sysadmins, for they are subtle and quick to anger.
* When you wish upon a falling star, Your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the earth which will destroy all life.
* Bow before me, for I am root.
* Mistakes: It Could Be that the Purpose of Your Life Is Only to Serve as a Warning to Others.
* Meetings: None of us is as dumb as all of us.
* Mediocrity: It Takes a Lot Less Time and Most People Won't Notice the Difference Until It's Too Late.
* Inspiration: Genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, which is why Engineers sometimes smell really bad.
* Incompetence: When You Earnestly Believe You Can Compensate For A Lack Of Skill By Doubling Your Efforts, There's No End To What You Can't Do.
* Idiocy: Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in Large Groups
* Elitism: It's Lonely At The Top. But It's Comforting To Look Down Upon Everyone At The Bottom.
* You know you're an engineer if you have no life & can prove it mathematically.
* When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you
* We have enough youth. How about a fountain of SMART?
* Time flies when you are sick and psychotic.
* The universe is a figment of its own imagination.
* The ozone layer or cheese in a spray can. Dont make me choose.
* The box said "Requires Windows 95 or better." So I installed LINUX"
* The beatings will continue until morale improves.
* Alpha geek at work.
* Press any key... no, no, no, not that one!
* Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive (the damn thing blew up)
* NEVER, NEVER question the GEEKS judgement
* Make it idiot-proof, and someone will make a better idiot.
* If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
* I PROCESS, therefore I AM
* I don't know what your problem is, but I bet its hard to pronounce.
* I cant be fired, slaves are sold.
* Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
* ERROR: Keyboard not attached. Press F-1 to continue.
* Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
* Department of Redundancy Department.
* Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bullshit before.
* Dain bramaged.
* Chaos! Panic! Disaster! (My work here is done)
* C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL
* Blessed are the Geeks, for they shall internet the earth.
* Alcohol & calculus don't mix. Never drink & derive.
* 90% of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
* It's Always Darkest just Before it goes Pitch Black.
* Consulting: If You're Not A Part Of The Solution, There's Good Money To Made In Prolonging The Problem.
* Cluelessness: There Are No Stupid Questions, But There Are A Lot Of Inquisitive Idiots.
* Apathy: If We Don't Take Care of the Customer, Maybe They'll Stop Bugging Us.
* Ambition: The Journey Of A Thousand Miles Sometimes Ends Very, Very Badly.
* Achievement: You Can Do Anything You Set Your Mind To When You Have Vision, Determination, And An Endless Supply Of Cheap Labor."