Wit, Wisdom & Wonder

Within a week, we've received both a Lillian Vernon and a Walter Drake catalog. I'm not sure how we've gotten on their lists, though I have my suspicions. There's something oddly fascinating about all the weird things they carry, don't you find? While I'm sure these are all useful items (to someone), most of them just seem like the crap that accumulates in your kitchen junk drawer. There's a rather hysterical altar & ritual tool set to be made up with the assorted crap from these catalogs. A few choice items offered below.

Glow in the dark acrylic plastic jelly beans to "illuminate a pathway" - handy boundary setting for circle rituals?
A handy-dandy doormat weather forcaster (i.e. rug wet = rain) - weather magic for dummies
Compact electric skillet (6x6") - for those mini travel cauldrons
Travel timer necklace. (i.e. a kitchen timer on a cord) - keep those rituals short, folks!
Set of 10 Quik-Brite LED lights to 'stick everywhere' - taplight ritual anyone?
Decorative 'frost' window stickers - to keep prying eyes away from skyclad rituals (also available in stained glass for ambience!)
Shower shoes - for those Pacific Northwest outdoor rituals!
Waist button expanders - for those post-feast trips home!
Powerful personal megaphone - for those hard-to-hear priestesses!
Extra-large lazy susan - for those hard to reach places on the altar, no more flaming priestesses or singed arm hair!
Acrylic engraved remembrance stones - for those who just can't memorize their
directions!
Adjustable luggage straps (in various colors) - quicker initiations, every time!

This is how my brain works, folks.