The evils of dog food

So today, I've gotten no less than a dozen phone calls, emails and text messages regarding the pet food recall. More or less, they follow this pattern:

Them: OMG-WTF-BBQ! Seriously, are your dogs ok?
Tris: uhm, yeah. At last count, anyway. There's just so gosh darned many of them, we have to take inventory every so often. Twice a day, morning and evening. As of this morning, they were all fine. Its a few hours until the evening inventory, anything could happen. Just the other day, someone threw another dog over the fence and I didn't notice until I tucked him into bed that night. I named him after you. He has your eyes.
Them: But YOUR DOGS! What do you feed them?
Tris: Nutro, mostly. The occasional missionary, door to door salemen, etc. Standard stuff.
Them: OMG, NUTRO IS EVIL. ITS BEEN RECALLED! Your DOGS COULD DIE!
Tris: Wait, no. Read the warnings, they don't include dry kibble. We only feed kibble to our dogs, no canned or wet food. (Except wet missionaries, it rains here. A lot)
Them: ITS ALL NUTRO, ALL THE TIME. PURE EVIL. What do your rabbits eat?
Tris: Despite what you may have learned watching Monty Python, our rabbits are pretty strict vegetarians and rarely eat the occasional Crusader.
Them: You should take all your pets to the vet to have them checked, just in case.
Tris: *sigh* Thanks for the info. I'll put the dogs on a strict door to door salesmen diet until this scourge of modern society has been dealt with.

I cannot imagine what poor gentledaddy must be putting up with!