Things I never thought I'd say to a kid

[trystinn]

"Could you tell me if that rabbit is breathing? I'm asking because you're carrying him around by his neck."

Which wasn't quite as dramatic as it sounds, but I'd gotten tired of "support their feet now" and being ignored. At least then he started listening to me and carried the rabbit around correctly.

Comments

[onyxtwilight.livejournal.com]

They always listen better if you can get through their heads WHY it is you want them to do something. A little drama is a good thing, some times. :-)

[seastormwitch.livejournal.com]

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

I love it...truly love it. Desperate times, desperate measures works every time.

[tryst-inn.livejournal.com]

Those without children do our best to improvise. That said, I have to admit I sounded exactly like my mum when I said that.

[seastormwitch.livejournal.com]

Ha! I've had those 'Oh my Gods where did my MOTHER's voice come from' moments many times.

[dbmyrrha.livejournal.com]

LOL. I can hear you now. (not literally.)

[tryst-inn.livejournal.com]

I know I'll be in real trouble when "I carried you under my heart for 9 months and this is the thanks I get" comes spewing out of me.

[dbmyrrha.livejournal.com]

*snorts soda*

I <3 U.

[herbmcsidhe.livejournal.com]

Alternate version...

"If you dont {xxx}, I'm gonna smack you so hard your butt cracks the other direction."

[man-of-snows.livejournal.com]

Even more frightening to me is when I find the exact phrases my mom uses on my dad come flying out of my mouth to Justin. "We don't have to have a clean house, but we don't have to live here either..."

[tryst-inn.livejournal.com]

Oooooh, me likee that one.

Other perennial faves:
"I brought you into this world and I'll take you out. And then I'll make another one look just like you."

"I'll knock you into next week, meet you on Friday and beat you all over again".

[tryst-inn.livejournal.com]

I've caught myself saying "You want to act like a teenager, I'm going to treat you like a teenager" to Josh.

Another fave in an argument is "you wouldn't accept this kind of bullshit from the men you supervise, why do I have to accept it from you?" which works surprisingly well.