trystinn | My bags are packed, I'm ready to go....

As sundown draws near, a few last minute thoughts before the Retreat begins.

First things first:
My deepest gratitude and sympathy for my friends who have seen me through the amazing transformation and journey with the BTW Outer Grove, especially in the last year. For putting up with my angst, my tizzy fits, my lectures on occultism and my rants and raves as I worked to make progress. Thank you, there will never be enough said to transmute my thoughts and words to your souls. You have kept me sane, made me laugh at myself and you, I owe you more than I can ever repay.

For my former group members and Elders: Thank you for not being where I belonged because I learned and laughed a lot along the way. And without you all, I would not be where I am now. I always learn more from my mistakes than my victories, so many hugs and much love for being "my favorite mistake", as Sheryl Crow sings. And take that first part the way I meant it, with gratitude and gentle humor.

Thank you to my LJ Friends, some of which I've been blessed to know IRL or through the local Seattle area pagan grapevine. I've learned from all of you, laughed with most of you and look forward to many LJ journeys together. You all mean more to me than you can imagine and you guide me by the examples you set, the learning and journeys you've shared and the debates we've had.

Thank you for all the BTW friends, online and off who have steered me to where I am now and kept me researching and thinking, who challenged my preconceptions and gracefully nudged me back on path when I went astray. And especially thank you for the clue-by -fours and the screaming fits when I was too stubborn to hear what you were saying the first time around.

To my husband: Thank you, Josh. For being the man of my dreams, the magical partner of my every need and the husband every pagan woman admires. Without your love, our beautiful and safe home, and our furchildren I would not be who I am today.

To my family: Thank you, Mum & Da for always being so supportive, emotionally and financially of this journey. Without you, we wouldn't have had the closing costs on our house and without that house, we wouldn't have our home and furchildren. Thank you for insisting I receive good occult training, for all the books, gifts and pagan art, for all the times you've tagged along to Sedona, AZ, to Winter Solstice at St. John the Divine (well, I tagged along with Da, but you know what I mean) and all the wonderful conversations over wine, the trip to Ireland where I came face to face with what I was meant to be and all the other little things and big things that cannot be counted. Thank you for insisting that my opinions ALWAYS be backed with good research and for never allowing me to be less than I could be. Embracing my potential might have been a bitch of a journey, but it was always a challenge you taught me I could face. With grace and humor and a LOT of booze.

To Alicia, aka Wanderlust, for being my covensib and my Initiating partner, thank you for your laughter, your welcoming smile and all the times we've laughed and struggled together. For your Irish soul, your Hawaiian self, your eternal childlike wonder of the world. For putting up with my anal retentive self, my eternal quest for the BTW and occult knowledge. For Guinness and many, many hugs. Its been an honor and a gift making this journey with you and struggling through the challenge of the last year. We've had more "wtf" moments together than the rest of my life, combined. And I treasure that and you.

To my Elders, HP & HPS: I can never express what this Initiation means to me. I can only hope you already know exactly what this feels like and what it means to all Seekers who find their Families in you.

To the Lady and Lord: I've courted you for years, searched for you in the wrong places, found you reflected in other's eyes and myself, yet found myself wanting to know you by your most intimate of names and countenances as long as I can remember. It will be a gift beyond words to put names to the 'faces' so to speak. I look forward with all humility and gratitude to being formally introduced Saturday evening.

And now, gentle friends and neighbors... the sun has set, the Retreat begins and the Journey comes to a new crossroad.