Diminished Expectations and Dusting
Sep. 14th, 2010 04:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
trystinnMy expectations of a clean house tend to fall under the 'like a museum' motif. I don't get to live within that expectation, mostly because of three dogs whom I adore utterly. But the husband shares some responsibility here. My Marital Counseling textbook directs us to clearly state our expectations. So here goes.
"Where empty beer bottles do not reside on the kitchen counter, but instead lie patiently within the recycling bin. Which means, they do not abide on the living room tables. Or worse yet, get kicked under the couch. These are signs that you are unknowingly living in a frat house.
If you are capable of writing 'dust me', you are also capable of dusting!
Where when one of the men make chili I am not then cleaning it off the stove top, backsplash, knife holder and nearby refrigerator 48 hours later.
Where shoes are kept tidily in one's bedroom or closets and not strung about the house like a corpses on a civil war battlefield.
Where backpacks, motorcycle jackets, helmets and additional accessories reside in their proper place in the den closet instead of the dining room.
Where the dining room table is clear unless folks are eating at it, about to or have just finished.
Where if something falls off the wall, it is promptly hung back up. This goes double for oven mitts.
Where the pantry is vacuumed on a regular basis, wiped down with Clorox and doesn't become the natural meeting spot for non-edible items.
Where the bathroom is cleaned on a regular basis and empty toilet paper rolls are tossed in the recycling bin instead of arranged like bowling pins on the bathroom counter.
Where dust bunnies the size of bobcats are taken care of promptly. Should they remain, they are likely to develop sufficient sentience that I will be required to make them sleeping blankets like the ones my MIL makes for our dogs and cats (I'm not kidding).
There is really no reason for the entire collection of winter afghans to be displayed on top of the sofa back. This is especially true July - August, but also continues into September.
Where the garbage and recycling bins are emptied, washed out and replaced without my having to perform my startlingly realistic impression of an Irish fishwife."
Any to add, folks?
"Where empty beer bottles do not reside on the kitchen counter, but instead lie patiently within the recycling bin. Which means, they do not abide on the living room tables. Or worse yet, get kicked under the couch. These are signs that you are unknowingly living in a frat house.
If you are capable of writing 'dust me', you are also capable of dusting!
Where when one of the men make chili I am not then cleaning it off the stove top, backsplash, knife holder and nearby refrigerator 48 hours later.
Where shoes are kept tidily in one's bedroom or closets and not strung about the house like a corpses on a civil war battlefield.
Where backpacks, motorcycle jackets, helmets and additional accessories reside in their proper place in the den closet instead of the dining room.
Where the dining room table is clear unless folks are eating at it, about to or have just finished.
Where if something falls off the wall, it is promptly hung back up. This goes double for oven mitts.
Where the pantry is vacuumed on a regular basis, wiped down with Clorox and doesn't become the natural meeting spot for non-edible items.
Where the bathroom is cleaned on a regular basis and empty toilet paper rolls are tossed in the recycling bin instead of arranged like bowling pins on the bathroom counter.
Where dust bunnies the size of bobcats are taken care of promptly. Should they remain, they are likely to develop sufficient sentience that I will be required to make them sleeping blankets like the ones my MIL makes for our dogs and cats (I'm not kidding).
There is really no reason for the entire collection of winter afghans to be displayed on top of the sofa back. This is especially true July - August, but also continues into September.
Where the garbage and recycling bins are emptied, washed out and replaced without my having to perform my startlingly realistic impression of an Irish fishwife."
Any to add, folks?
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no subject
Date: 2010-09-15 12:36 am (UTC)Do you have problems with wet towels or clothes on the bedroom/bathroom floor? Laundry issues? inappropriately squeezed toothpaste? Unmade beds?
Hari is creating a spreadsheet. He will clean the bathroom, though, as long as I vacuum.
no subject
Date: 2010-09-15 12:42 am (UTC)#1: I would like to live in a house where dog hair is not a condiment.
#2: See #1.
no subject
Date: 2010-09-15 01:39 am (UTC)Seriously?
I am not a particularly neat housekeeper. I'm prone to clutter. I don't go in for filth, but I'm certainly guilty of the dining room table thing and the clothes on the floor thing and a few other of these things.
But if I walked past a piece of furniture that had that message scrawled into its layer of dust by my spouse, partner, or lover who LIVED IN THE SAME HOUSE, I'm pretty sure my response would be something like: "Here is the Endust. Here is a dustcloth. When you're finished, here is where they live. HERE is a blanket, and HERE is your motherfucking pillow, and if you want there to be any chance in hell that you get to sleep in your own bed TOMORROW night, I had better wake up to a spotless table set with a fabulous breakfast and Not. One. Drop. Of. Attitude. Goodnight." *bedroomdoorslam*
Not your mother. Not your maid. Not your indentured servant. Not your service sub. Not your house brownie. NOT.
That is some BULLshit right there. And boy, did it hit some button in me. I wonder why? It's not like that has ever happened to me. *curious puzzlement* :-)
no subject
Date: 2010-09-15 01:55 am (UTC)Speaking of dining table, is it too much to ask for the chairs to be pushed in?
Dirty laundry should be in a hamper. I admit to not always putting my clean clothes away immediately, but there are plenty of hampers and baskets..there's no need for clothes to be strewn all over.
I'm pretty sure Ive posted about Will's lack of housekeeping skills, and I am far from perfect but man....
Now that Liana is gone, I'm considering making her room into Will's office and turning the downstairs bedroom into a guest room. At least, I'll have a bed available when my body won't let me go up the stairs. It'll also mean the public bathroom will be kept clean and I'll never have to see the mess he makes again. If only i can get the cat to relocate as well.
no subject
Date: 2010-09-15 04:02 am (UTC)I'm working keeping things clean. It's never been easy for me, so I really have to work at it, and it's difficult with Stephen running around lol.
no subject
Date: 2010-09-15 07:32 am (UTC)Soap scum accumulation in the shower when I don't use soap on a regular basis because of my skin issues, guess who always ends up cleaning them.
To be fair, he's usually the one who has to finish filling the dishwasher at night.