Need some ideas...

[trystinn]

Here at the Tryst Inn we have a fairly narrow driveway cut at the street, bordered on either side by tall trees, then a little drive up to our home. The driveway itself then opens up to allow for four cars to be parked head first towards the north property fence and also for additional cars behind them - all the way right up to the front porch which we keep free for unloading and loading (which we do a lot of here, oddly enough). We did, on one occassion, fit twelve parked cars neatly in the driveway. It feels protected and a tad isolated, just the way I like it.

So how come all sorts of salespeople feel perfectly free to drive right up to the bottom step of the porch and come ring the doorbell? Drives me insane. Its all I can do while they are blathing about their "services" on my front doorstop to interrupt them and ask "why the hell are you parked right in front of my porch?" I could literally stand on the bottom step of the porch and kick their headlights out then go for the radiator. Literally.

Its rude. I'm sorry, its JUST RUDE. I was under the impression, back when I had to run things out to people's homes, that you take the furthest possible parking spot so as not to interfere with the running of the household unless you were delivering something HUGE and HEAVY. Carpet cleaning services I haven't ordered are neither.

There's also a safety element to this, as well. So what are my options, folks? Can I put up "NO SOLICITING" & "PRIVATE DRIVE" signs? What legal protection, if any, do they serve? Personally, I've always been rather fond of the "Forget the dog, beware the owner" signs - but the whole concept of flame orange signage is so unbelievably tacky I'm hesitant to add them.

I have no issue with standing at the front door, behind the screen door, shotgun in hand screeching "Get off my property!" at the top of my lungs - but there would seem to be something a bit less drastic I could try.

Comments

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

I'd think a crossbow would be even better. A person aiming a shotgun at you is serious, but a person aiming a crossbow at you is clearly insane.

[tryst-inn.livejournal.com]

LMAO

Here's the idea: I throw on one of my cloaks, buckle on a sword or two, go outside on the porch with my crossbow and start screaming about folks taking Dungeons & Dragons too seriously at the top of my lungs?

[alfrecht.livejournal.com]

I did that to a bunch of kids in Cork who were bothering me endlessly one night. About the fifth time they knocked on my door and were throwing rocks, I showed up at the door with my Iron Age Celtic sword and drew it from its scabbard (which makes this lovely "zing!" sound that is very dramatic), and told them I'd make kebabs of them all if they didn't leave me alone. The door-knocking stopped...at least for that evening.

I'm reminded of that silly film "The Banger Sisters," when Goldie Hawn shows up at her old friend Susan Sarandon's house, and when the latter doesn't recognize the former, she threatens her in her yard with one of those small handheld 3-pronged garden forks. Such a person would be almost *too innocent* to attempt to bother!

[tryst-inn.livejournal.com]

see, now, my scabbard is leather..it makes a sort of sllllltttt! noise.

I adore Susan Sarandon, great movie, btw.