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trystinnThe Pagan Problem Report Form
1. Describe your pagan problem: __________________________________________________
2. Now, describe the pagan problem accurately:___________________________________________
3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem: ____________________________________
4. Problem severity:
A. Minor B. Minor C. Minor D. Trivial
5. Nature of the problem:
A. ___Attachment B. ___Possession C. ___Hex D. ___Strange Smell
6. Is your Aura plugged in Correctly? Yes __ No __
7. Is it turned on? Yes __ No __
8. Have you tried to Cleanse or Vanquish it yourself? Yes __ No __
9. Have you made it worse? Yes __
10. Have you had a friend who "knows all about Witchcraft and cleansing" try to fix it for you? Yes__ No__
11. Did they make it even worse? Yes __
12. Have you read a Book of Shadows? Yes__ No__
13. Are you sure you've read a Book of Shadows? Maybe __ No__
14. Are you absolutely certain you've read a Book of Shadows? No__
15. If you read a Book of Shadows, do you think you understood it? Yes__ No__
16. If 'Yes' then explain why you can't fix the problem yourself:
__________________________________________________
17. What were you doing with your Ritual circle when the problem occurred?
__________________________________________________
18. If you answered 'nothing' then explain why you were on the Astral plane:
___________________________________________________
19. Are you sure that you aren't imagining the problem? Yes__ No__
20. Does the Cauldron in your circle work? Yes__ What's a CAULDRON? __
21. Do you have a copy of 'Witchcraft for Dummies'? Yes__ No__
22. Do you have any independent witnesses to the problem, either here or passed over ? Yes__ No__
23. Do you have any magical tools, gifts or talents that DO work? Yes__ No__
24. Is there anyone else you could blame this problem on? Yes__ No__
25. Have you given yourself a good whack on the forehead? Yes__ No__ (if 'no' do it now)
26. Is the group outside your home trying to set you on fire? Yes__ Not Yet __
1. Describe your pagan problem: __________________________________________________
2. Now, describe the pagan problem accurately:___________________________________________
3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem: ____________________________________
4. Problem severity:
A. Minor B. Minor C. Minor D. Trivial
5. Nature of the problem:
A. ___Attachment B. ___Possession C. ___Hex D. ___Strange Smell
6. Is your Aura plugged in Correctly? Yes __ No __
7. Is it turned on? Yes __ No __
8. Have you tried to Cleanse or Vanquish it yourself? Yes __ No __
9. Have you made it worse? Yes __
10. Have you had a friend who "knows all about Witchcraft and cleansing" try to fix it for you? Yes__ No__
11. Did they make it even worse? Yes __
12. Have you read a Book of Shadows? Yes__ No__
13. Are you sure you've read a Book of Shadows? Maybe __ No__
14. Are you absolutely certain you've read a Book of Shadows? No__
15. If you read a Book of Shadows, do you think you understood it? Yes__ No__
16. If 'Yes' then explain why you can't fix the problem yourself:
__________________________________________________
17. What were you doing with your Ritual circle when the problem occurred?
__________________________________________________
18. If you answered 'nothing' then explain why you were on the Astral plane:
___________________________________________________
19. Are you sure that you aren't imagining the problem? Yes__ No__
20. Does the Cauldron in your circle work? Yes__ What's a CAULDRON? __
21. Do you have a copy of 'Witchcraft for Dummies'? Yes__ No__
22. Do you have any independent witnesses to the problem, either here or passed over ? Yes__ No__
23. Do you have any magical tools, gifts or talents that DO work? Yes__ No__
24. Is there anyone else you could blame this problem on? Yes__ No__
25. Have you given yourself a good whack on the forehead? Yes__ No__ (if 'no' do it now)
26. Is the group outside your home trying to set you on fire? Yes__ Not Yet __
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no subject
Date: 2007-01-26 02:18 am (UTC)1. Describe your pagan problem:_There are too many clueless pagans.______
2. Now, describe the pagan problem accurately:__The general pagan population seems to have had their collective brains sucked out by aliens.____
3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem: _They insist upon reproducing._____________
4. Problem severity:
A. Minor B. Minor C. Minor D. Trivial (E.) Epidemic
5. Nature of the problem:
A. ___Attachment B. ___Possession C. ___Hex D. ___Strange Smell E. ___Existence
6. Is your Aura plugged in Correctly? Yes _X (AC only, no adapter found)_ No __
7. Is it turned on? Yes _X oooo baby_ No __
8. Have you tried to Cleanse or Vanquish it yourself? Yes _X_ No __
9. Have you made it worse? Yes __ No _I'm minty fresh.
10. Have you had a friend who "knows all about Witchcraft and cleansing" try to fix it for you? Yes_X_ No__
11. Did they make it even worse? Yes __ No _ineffective is as ineffective does
12. Have you read a Book of Shadows? Yes_X_ No__
13. Are you sure you've read a Book of Shadows? Maybe __ No__ YES _X_
14. Are you absolutely certain you've read a Book of Shadows? No__ YES DAMMIT _X_
15. If you read a Book of Shadows, do you think you understood it? Yes_X_ No__
16. If 'Yes' then explain why you can't fix the problem yourself:
___There are those squinky bits about genocide.__________________
17. What were you doing with your Ritual circle when the problem occurred?
_____Trying to ignore them._____________________
18. If you answered 'nothing' then explain why you were on the Astral plane:
___________________________________________________
19. Are you sure that you aren't imagining the problem? Yes_X_ No__
20. Does the Cauldron in your circle work? Yes__ What's a CAULDRON? __ No _X_ We support it financially for sentimental reasons.
21. Do you have a copy of 'Witchcraft for Dummies'? Yes__ No_X_
22. Do you have any independent witnesses to the problem, either here or passed over ? Yes_XXXXXXX_ No__
23. Do you have any magical tools, gifts or talents that DO work? Yes_X_ No__
24. Is there anyone else you could blame this problem on? Yes_XXXXXXX_ No__
25. Have you given yourself a good whack on the forehead? Yes_X_ No__ (if 'no' do it now)
26. Is the group outside your home trying to set you on fire? Yes__ Not Yet __ No _X (See "Hidden Children" clause.)_
no subject
Date: 2007-01-26 04:01 am (UTC)All of list (except personal bits) can be confirmed from here.
Particularly the seriousness level....
however 26 is : Yes (housemates cooking)
Apparently there's an apartment building of people who've decided that my housemates' coffee shop is a hotbed of gay people (true) and swingers meetings (not true) (and loud musicians - also kind of true but not wake the neighbours up three blocks away loud - which is what's being claimed).... (the owner's right thrilled. It beats the usual area population of druggies and street thugs)
no subject
Date: 2007-01-26 04:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-26 06:23 pm (UTC)So his coffee shop is a durn fine thing :)
(incidentally - the only part of the Vancouver region with worse drug and crime problems is the downtown east side... where the term "skid row" originated from the drunks sleeping it off in the tree skids after boozing it up at Gassy Jack's back in the 1800s)
I love going to that coffee shop - and now that wireless internet is being installed (by my brother and I this weekend) there will be even less reason to go home. We're also hoping to get a movie projector online for saturday morning cartoons and quite nights....
no subject
Date: 2007-01-26 08:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-26 09:59 pm (UTC)I'll pass that on.
The owner will love it :) (he basically lives at the coffee shop)
The folks who live upstairs at businesses nearby - who are already regulars and supporters of the shop - will probably get a kick out of it too :)
no subject
Date: 2007-01-26 07:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-26 07:58 pm (UTC)and... ouch on that.
(in my case I was being slightly silly. Two of my roommates actually cook as part of their living and the third knows enough not to ignite anything)
no subject
Date: 2007-01-26 08:08 pm (UTC)Good people. Sadly, they are loosely affiliated with a local Fraudnerian group. Something I did back before I knew better. *sigh*
no subject
Date: 2007-01-26 08:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-26 05:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-26 08:29 pm (UTC)